Sunday, February 27, 2011

Life in Perspective.....

So, the last few weeks have been very difficult for me - in fact, just bloody horrble really. The only thing that has kept me sane over this time has been Big Bertha my Maroon Suzuki Boulevard C109R. Im afraid this blog post is completely off topic so do stop reading now if you want, as this a bit of a cleansing post for myself I suppose.

You see, my partner and I have separated. We have been together 8 years and have shared our lives, love and laughter over that time. The decision is a complex one, but the right one for both of us. We have been having a few issues for a while and I think that the biggest problem was that we both knew it was coming to an end but because we both cared (and still do) about each other, and because we were fairly comfortable in our routines, neither one of us had the balls to do anything about it and make the difficult decisions that needed to be made. .... Then of course things went downhill until such a point that some very bad decisions were made which resulted in some serious hurt being caused and I suppose ultimately a line crossed that meant there was no going back.

I have spent a lot of time asking some really hard questions of myself - how has our relationship been? What has been going on? Have I been happy in it? what do I really want? What could I have done differently?

...anyway, to cut a long story short, we have decided it is time to pack the boxes and we have decided that we are going to do this amicably and with love because there has been a lot more good than bad, so the last few weeks have been spent finding a place for my partner to rent, working out whose is whose and sharing out those things that are "ours" I have to say that it is quite a surreal experience. We have even managed to talk, laugh and hug in this process.

The absolutely bizarre thing is that since we made the decision we have actually got on a whole lot better. As we have worked through the sorting out process we have realised how much we have had fun over the years., the bike keeps me calm ... I have clocked up a couple of thousand or so km's over the last few weeks and found focusing on the ride the key to working through this difficult time.

CHRISTCHURCH EARTHQUAKE ......and then we have the Christchurch Earthquake to put life in perspective.

The death toll is now over 150 and expected to rise. For those outside of New Zealand, Christchurch is our third largest city. Thousands of kiwis have been displaced, businesses and homes ruined and a hell of a lot of trauma for everyone involved. If you havent yet, please take a moment and make a donation - heres the link to the Red Cross -and if you do not live in New Zealand and want to learn more about whats happened down our way go HERE ... and don't forget to click on the link above to the Red Cross and make a donation .... anything you can donate will be appreciated.

In typical New Zealand fashion the whole country has got behind Christchurch with money pouring in, free accomodation offered across the country in peoples homes, 1000's of university students getting volunteering to help with the cleanup and everyone focused on supporting those who have lost loved ones and getting Christchurch back up and running.

My love and thoughts are with those in Christchurch,


Roger said...

A nigtmare for everyone Nic, for you personally, and for the brave people of CHCH. Good post and thanks for putting the link in for donating. WIll copy and past in mine.

Nick said...

How are you getting on Roger?

Roger said...

I am okay Nic, like everyone it has been usetting , missing my partner, and just hugged my kids a lot. Catch up soon. Good post.

Donna McNicol said...

I've been watching the news with horror. Just so unbelievable and so sad.

Sorry to hear about the break-up, I have a good friend here in the US who went through that last year. Like you, she found that she and her partner were better friends once all was said and done.

Here's to a better tomorrow for everyone!

Geoff James said...

Terribly sorry to hear the sad news mate, was wondering why we hadn't heard from you for a bit. My sentiments for you are the same as everyone else. I'd just like to add though that although you're hurting, most of those 8 years will have been wonderful, enriching fun times which have been good for both your souls. All has not been lost.

All the very best and hope to catch up in person before too long.


Bluekat said...

Sorry to hear about the break up. Even when it's amicable, it's still difficult. I've seen some of the photos out of Christchurch, terrible. Please take care.

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